Thanksgiving 2010

Dillon is home for Thanksgiving!! Patrick and Kyle drove down early Wednesday morning to pick up Dillon by 8:00a.m. He had a 12:15 dentist appointment and a 3:30 DMV appointment....already busy on day 1 home. They made it just in time for his dentist appointment, and as I anxiously awaited his arrive, he decided to go to a powder puff game at the high school and hang out with some friends. I guess it's time to admit that Mom isn't #1 anymore. :-) I finally tracked him down at his dad's house and we hung out and caught up a bit before heading down to the DMV for his second try at his driver's permit test.
We were quickly helped because we had an appointment, and then had to wait 45 minutes before it was corrected. HE PASSED!!! Much different from our first experience 5 months ago when he threw a complete fit when he failed his first exam.
Dillon has definitely matured since his time at GYA. He is now calm, collected, and patient.
It is now Thursday morning....HAPPY THANKSGIVING. Steve and I woke Dillon at 6:15a.m. to head downtown San Jose for the Silicon Valley Turkey Trot. Steve runs the 10k and I run the 5k. Dillon had planned to run the 5k with me, then decided to challenge himself the last minute and headed out with Steve for their 6.2 mile run. Dillon wasn't sure he could do it, because he has never run 6 miles at once. Although he did earn his National Athletic Award at GYA and ran a 6.5 minute mile.....woo hoo!!
Needless to say, Dillon finished the 6.2 miles about 4 minutes behind Steve. I am so proud of him and better yet, he was really proud of himself.
On the drive home, I reminded him of the first time I took him running about 6 months ago. It was about 2 weeks before he was going to leave for GYA and I was trying to help him get ready for the program as suggested. We jogged about 200 yards and he started yelling at me. He completely quit after about 1/2 mile and sulked like a 5 year old the whole time. Now this same boy ran 6.2 miles today and Steve said he was chipper as can be. He was chatting with Steve and smiling....completely different kid!
We have a few more days together, but I had to write and tell, well actually brag, about Dillon's accomplishments. All within 24 hours he got his driver's permit and ran farther than he ever has before. That's my boy!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. More to come later.

Dillon's Progress

It has been over a month since I last blogged. There have been so many things happening since I last posted. Dillon came home for his first "home pass" on October 8th and his dad took him back on Oct. 12th.
It was great to see the progress Dillon had made, and at the same time, you could tell that he wasn't quite ready to come back home. There was a time during the weekend when he wanted to go back to Grizzly early. He told me that it was really overwhelming to make decisions on his own. Since he had arrived on July 18th, there has been someone telling him what to do from the time he got up until the time he went to bed. When to get up, when to eat, when to go to the bathroom, what to do and how to do it. Now that he was home, he had so many choices and all of us asking him to make a decision. He became frustrated from time to time and it was a good chance for us to talk about all he had been through. One thing that was very clear, is that Dillon had been changing so quickly and the rest of us hadn't changed much at all. This was a huge learning experience for Dillon. When he gets back and returns to school in January, he is going to find that his friends and peers haven't changed that much. Dillon has not only changed physically, but emotionally as well. His experiences at GYA have forced him to grow up much sooner than he would on his own. He is meeting other young men and hearing about their stories, their lives, their families, and their struggles. Dillon was amazed at how people from a different area of California, northern vs southern for example, spoke with different understanding and slang. I pointed out to him that if people in California are very different, just imagine the thinking between different countries and different cultures. He is really starting to mature and think of someone besides himself.
I have learned that I have done a disservice to my children by giving them everything, have them want for nothing, and therefore keeping them sheltered. It's as if Dillon's eyes are opening for the first time. He is able to see passed his own small world and realize that the world is much bigger and broader than he ever knew. It has taken me 42 years to begin learning the lessons that he is learning at 16.
Although Dillon is still that playful, fun loving guy that left us over 3 months ago, he is now becoming less naive, and more patient and aware of the world around him. I'm not saying that he still isn't that little smart ass I spoke about a couple of months ago, but now he owns it. His awareness of himself is really amazing. He is able to express his feelings and really think about his reactions. He still acts out and can get dramatic, but his recovery time is really incredible. Is there a GYA for adults? I would love to sign up and learn a thing or two.
I'm not sure if Dillon realizes how much he is helping the rest of us to grow and change. His tenacity, his drive, his commitment has all been so amazing. This is a boy that had a .93 GPA. He was selfish, he was lazy, he had no drive, he was angry, and worst of all, he had no respect for himself. I don't mean to sound so hard on him because he also had his good qualities, but overall, he was going nowhere and he was going there fast. Today Dillon has a 3.8 GPA. He has struggled and survived everyday of this program. He is up at 5a.m. every single day, and not in bed until 9p.m. He works hard both physically and mentally. School is now a priority, and he loves doing the community service work. At the end of the day before the lights go out, he takes the time to write home and tell us how much he loves us. In his most recent letter, I read the words that every mom waits to hear.... "Mom, you are the best Mom ever and my life and family are perfect, the best! I couldn't ask for anything better for my life or my family. I love you so much! Dillon"
I cried tears of joy after reading that, and I have read it over and over.
It's not that he said I was the best mom or we had the best family....I'm sure there are better, faster, stronger Moms and families. But that doesn't matter. What matters is the Dillon feels accepted, he feels loved, he feels supported. He knows that although we are not a "perfect family", we have our good and our bad, we are the perfect family for him. All the nagging I do, I do because I love him. All the pushing and yelling and discipline and saying "NO"....I do because I love him and want what is best for him.
It's funny, because I just had a very similar talk with my older son Kyle. I know that I can be seen as a nag, or stubborn, or even a bitch occasionally. I do these things because I feel it is my duty. I will always push my children to reach a little farther, to go a little higher, to do things a little better. At the same time, I will always love them regardless of where their lives take them. I feel this is my duty as their mom. I don't feel a need to be their friend and I know I won't always be liked by them. I do however need them to know that they are loved and they will have a soft and safe place to land when needed. When I read Dillon's letter, I feel that he knows this.
I know we will butt heads from time to time, and we will love each other through it all.

Dillon's next trip home will be for Thanksgiving. I can't wait to see him and have more conversations with him. No matter how big your kids get, there is a comfort and a relief when you can hold them close to heart and know that they are safe in your arms. I can't always protect them or keep them out of trouble, but I can and will always love them.

FINALLY!! Family Day has Arrived... Part 2

FINALLY!! A glimpse of Dillon...there he is on the far right...one of the 2 tallest boys in his platoon. Watching him perform his drill with such discipline was amazing.

I looked over at Kyle with pride in his face as he watched his brother. I couldn't contain my emotions. Through the tears I watched Dillon and cheered him on. They gave out awards to some of the top cadets and time seemed to stand still. What took 45 minutes felt like hours. He was merely feet away, but I had to wait. I had to be disciplined and patient...a small taste of Dillon's new life. And then.....they were dismissed. Kyle reached his brother first. I watched my two boys embrace and there are no words to describe the joy and pride I felt as their mother.

Then, it was my turn to hold my boy in my arms....the first time in 8 long weeks!! I didn't want to let go. I wanted to hold onto him forever.

I knew, at some point, I had to let go....I had to let Dillon stand on his own. I no longer stood before a boy....I now stood next to a young man. It was incredible to spend the next 5 hours with Dillon and hear his stories and experiences. He was still Dillon, only better. The entitled, smart-ass that we sent in to GYA 8 weeks prior, had turned into a kind, respectful, very likable soul. He shared his stories of his time at the academy and the many things he had learned. We laughed, we cried, we sat on the edge of our seats waiting to hear the next tale. Dillon spoke as I had never heard before. He was animated, engaging, and confident. It was a true joy to experience.

Now, unlike before, the time flew. The hours felt like mere minutes. We ate together, we laughed together, we took lots of pictures, and we all took in the experience. As the 4:00 hour drew closer, I could feel the anxiety in myself as well as in Dillon. He still struggles being at GYA, but ensures me that he is in it for the long haul. At one time, he even said that he wanted to return next year as a volunteer for Class 26's Family Day.

The dreaded announcement was made....all cadets were ordered back into formation. We all walked him back and I stole every moment to hug him and tell him how proud I was. He fell into formation and we watched as he marched back to his barracks....back to the place that he now calls home. I left renewed yet sad that I had to say goodbye. Now the next countdown begins. In 4 weeks I will be on my way back down to SLO to pick up Dillon for the weekend. His first leave to come home. He will be with us for 4 days. I can't wait to see how he has grown and experience even more of the new Dillon. Regardless of how he does or doesn't change, I will always love him. Although he is now becoming a man, to me, he will always be my little boy.

FINALLY!! Family Day has Arrived... Part 1

The past 8 weeks have held so much emotion......sadness, joy, uncertainty, fear, anxiety, insecurity, pride, just to name a few. I have been counting the days, the hours, the minutes until the first time that I get to see Dillon face to face...to hug him, hold him, ask him questions and get an immediate answer, and just be in he presence.
It has been so much fun planning this get together. Looking back, all these tasks have been used to keep myself busy and keep me from going insane. I researched and rented a house, planned our trip down to SLO, came up with a menu, put together some baskets for the fundraiser, sent out e-mails with all the details, etc.
We arrived Friday afternoon to get ready for the big day....Steve and I were joined by Kyle, Dillon's aunt Dene, cousin Haley, mentor Dale and kiddos Alec and Mia and Auntie Marie . Joining us on Saturday was Patrick, Uncle Michael, cousin Sydney, and Steve's parents Lynn and Ralph.
Friday evening was spent talking about Dillon. I shared some of his letters and we all talked about the kid we all know and love. We talked about how the "kid" was now becoming a man. We talked about our hopes for his future, and how proud we are of his accomplishments thus far. There was also lots of time preparing his first meal from "home".
I could barely sleep and the hours seemed to move at a snail's pace.
The morning finally arrived and I was up with the sun (maybe even a little before). We all got ready for the day ahead and at 8:30a.m. we loaded up into the cars for the 15 minute trip up the road. As we got closer and I could see the base, my heart began to beat faster.
We entered onto the base, and found a spot in the shade that we could all gather around. Then, more waiting....the cadets were not going to show until 10:00.

We snapped a few photos as we waited. Here we are gathered around the picnic spot.

Then Dale and Marie found the perfect spot to watch the drills.

Woo Hoo!! Getting excited now!! (This picture was taken by cousin Mia).

And the cadets march in......... Again, we wait. We can see them, but it is at least 45 more minutes until we can actually be with him.
And the journey continues......

Follow up Pics - Mentor Day

This past weekend was the first time the cadets got to meet with their Mentors. I was on the GYA website (like I am everyday hoping to hear or see news about Dillon) and found these pictures of Mentor Day with Dale. I am so happy to see my boy engaging in the activities and getting the most out of his experience. This activity is called The Mine Field.

Dale is standing to the left and Dillon is next to him watching the event unfold. Here, Dillon is leading Dale through the Mine Field. I love the way he is using his body (he's the one turned sideways) to
"show" Dale how to move even though Dale is blind folded. :-)
And in this one I can hear Dillon's booming voice shouting out directions. I love how animated he is in all of these pictures. (If you don't recognize him, he's the one bent over with his hand by his mouth.)

"Watch out for that Mine!!"
Now it's Dillon's turn to walk through the Mine Field and Dale's turn to give instructions. This looks like such a great activity for the cadets to experience with their mentors. They learn trust and the importance of listening. (Dale is to the right in sunglasses.)

Here he is again maneuvering through the "mine" fields. He looks ready for action!!

I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I do.

More to come later.....

New Letters and A Taste of Home

It has been exactly 5 weeks today that Dillon started the program at Grizzly, although sometimes if seems like 5 years. I really miss having home. I miss seeing his face and hearing him around the house. There is definitely a void in my life without him here. With that said, I will admit there was a time that I was counting the days before he left. The disrespectful attitude, the entitlement, the complaining, the "I'm bored" statements, the snotty reaction if I said "no". I don't miss any of that. But just like a mother having a baby, you forget the pain of birth and want to do it all over again. I guess I have forgotten the challenging parts of Dillon and now I just really miss the great parts of Dillon....his laughter, his fun filled pranks, the smell of his hair, his infectious smile, his inquisitive nature, his hugs, and his boyish personality. I realized before he left for Grizzly that this was the last time I was going to see the "boy" in him and that he was going to come home a young man. I am so happy that he is growing and changing, but there is a part of me that is going to miss the boy. This is my baby, and now both of my babies have grown up. It's finally time to cut the cord and let go of mothering and just be his Mom.
I am really beginning to see the changes in Dillon through his letters. He speaks his emotions and speaks from his heart. Never before have I heard Dillon talk about how much he loves his family and how important it is to make us proud. He also writes about changes he is making and changes he wants to make. In a letter dated Aug. 11th he says:
I guess it takes 28 days to break or start a habit. So I'm hoping in 6 more days, I won't be homesick, and I'll be used to PT and bad food. It's hard to think I've been gone for 22 days now when it feels like 2 and it feels like 5 months all at the same time. All I can think about is Family Day and Home pass. I love you so much. -Dillon"
He has also shared with me that he is doing really well in school and that the classes seem easy to him. He has gotten all A's on his homework and is hoping to get a 4.0 throughout his time at Grizzly. "School is so easy so far. I hope to get a 4.0 during the whole time I'm here ."
Wow, wow and more wow!! I have never heard Dillon talk about his grades like this and his hopes of not only doing well but doing the BEST he can. This is so awesome!!
The next letter I got was dated Aug. 16th. The entire letter was written in cursive and he had very nice penmanship. This is a huge improvement. I can certainly tell you that his writing and grammar have improved dramatically. This letter, however, was not as positive. He is still homesick and thinks that this program is not for him. He is very frustrated with his platoon. He says that there are about 10 kids that keep screwing things up for the rest of them and it is really starting to cause his platoon to fall apart. I personally think this is a great lesson for him. He is finally realizing that when one person doesn't pull their own weight, it really brings the whole unit down. I'm hoping that he can find the strength to maybe help these other cadets. This is his family now and no man can be left behind. They are going to have to band together to keep them strong. I encourage all of you to write letters to Dillon and suggest ways to keep him strong during these trying times. I know we all have stories about someone dragging us down and how we were able to pull through and draw strength from the experience. Dillon is learning things at 16 that some of us in our 40's still haven't learned. He continues to teach me about patience, humility, strength, self-esteem, and so much more.
This past Friday the 20th, Dillon met with his mentor for the first time. Dale was his little taste of home. This is the first time in 5 weeks that Dillon has been in contact with anyone other than his instructors and fellow cadets. Dale was able to bring Dillon some Jelly Bellies (as requested). Later, Dale told me that he wasn't aware that they couldn't keep the treat but had to consume them all while they visited in 2 hours. Well, Dale had brought him several bags of Jelly Bellies and they were all gone after the 2 hour visit. I'm sure he probably had a stomach ache that night. He was able to share them with some of his other cadets during the time they were all with their mentors, but I'm sure that Dillon ate the bulk of them.
Here is a photo of Dillon and Dale this past Friday. I can't believe how thin he looks. Dale also said that he looked like he was getting in shape. That's great to hear since one of his goals is to "get yoked" (I think I spelled it correct? a.k.a -to get ripped muscles).
I still continue to hold on for 3 more weeks until family day....Actually 2 weeks and 6 days. I have rented a house and we will be going down on Friday with family and friends to prepare for the big event on Saturday. I can't wait to see him and hear more about his journey. I look forward to taking lots of pictures, getting lots of hugs, giving him all the love he can stand, and bringing back his stories to share.

Beach Day and the Golden Shovel

There was a new post on the GYA bulletin board last Thursday that the cadets would be going to the beach on Friday for a "getting to know you" event and a sand castle building competition where they would have a chance at winning the coveted "Golden Shovel". They announced that pictures would be posted so I have been logging on everyday since Friday to see if there were new pictures, and if I could catch a glimpse of Dillon in any of the photos. Finally, on Monday there were new photos posted. I carefully scanned over each picture straining my eyes to see if I could find him. It's funny, but as a mom (and a dad a suppose) you just know your kid. Now all of these kids look the same. Shaved heads, same gray sweats, black shirts, black hats, etc. But as a parent I have a keen skill of spotting him. I guess after 16 years of watching him grow, I just know the shape of his head, the curve of his back, the way he holds himself, the bend of his elbow.
I spotted him in several pictures!! Here is his Platoon heading out to the beach...Platoon 3-- The Top Dogs.

Dillon is there...trust me I see him. He's 6th from the left back corner of the picture. The crane and stop sign are behind him and there is a shorter boy behind his right shoulder.

Here they are enjoying lunch before the big competition begins. Dillon is directly behind the boy 2nd from the right with his brown lunch bag on top of his backpack. You can barely see Dillon directly over his head. Looks like he is drinking some juice getting nourished for the big day.

Let the fun begin!! Here is there group and I saw Dillon (above pic) immediately. His back is to the camera...he's the tallest in the center. I would know that posture anywhere.

Platoon 3 created several different sand formations. A dog for "Top Dogs", a dog bone, bowl and a set of words for the "Top Dogs". They also erected this sandy cross. I posted in the last blog that one of the cadet's father passed away unexpectedly. I can only assume that this is for him. Dillon is to the right behind the boy bending over. (above)
And there's the picture I was waiting for. I needed to see that smile!! That's my boy meticulously arranging feathers to form wings on the cross.
Here is a picture of their Top Dog Bowl. Dillon is in the background working on the cross. He is bending over in the top right corner. Again, I would know that back anywhere...

They are all so proud of their platoon. "Top Dogs 3rd Platoon" and a "25" in the top corner because they are the 25th class to go through GYA.

Here they are posing in front of their creations. Dillon is sitting in the front row, 4th from the left looking down. I'm happy to see all these young men beaming from their accomplishments and proud to be a unit. (above)

One more photo of the group. Dillon wrote again and this is one of the sayings that the bark out as they march -- "One Voice - One Sound - One Fails, We all Fail - 49 Top Dogs in the Dog Pound!"

Here are all of the platoons lined up waiting to hear the verdict. Waiting to see who has won the "Golden Shovel". Dillon is leaning over on the right side with a huge smile on his face. (above) And....the drum roll please........

TOP DOGS-3RD PLATOON WIN THE GOLDEN SHOVEL!!!

The girl with the green pants is presenting them with the shovel.

Dillon is the one bending over with his hands on his kness. (above)

Let the celebration begin!! Woo Hoo....I'm so proud of my boy!! I know it must feel so good to win. Dillon has been struggling with where he fits in and now he has a group of peers that make him feel accepted and he is so happy to be a part of this platoon.

He also wrote in his last letter... "We get compliments from the other squads. The Wolverines, Rough Riders, the girls platoon is The Cobras. But 3rd Platoon is literally the best and we have the highest standards. We beat the other platoons on our PT (physical training)tests. We also look better than them when we march. PRIDE (all in caps) is a huge thing here. Most of the time I get sad, I get pumped up by sounding off and getting compliments from our cadre (sergeants)."

Now that is so wonderful to hear. I'm so happy he is getting the chance to know what "pride" is and how good it feels to be the best and accomplish your goals. I'm so proud of him!! This is for Matt....I can only assume this is for Cadet Barrington's dad.

It says, "May He Fly With Angels".

They went in as lost boys. Now, they have found strength in themselves and in each other. They are now becoming incredible, strong men.

The Letter I Have Been Waiting For....

The letters take about 3-4 days to get from Dillon to home. The last one I got was written before we spoke on Saturday, but I just received it this past Monday. He was still home sick and saying that GYA "sucks". I was really hoping that his feelings would change after he made it through the "acclimation phase" a.k.a. "hell week". Well, sure enough...they did. (well at least SOME of his feelings).
I have spent most of today running errands and really hadn't expected another letter from Dillon, but when I got home and heard the mail lady drop the mail through the slot in the garage, I ran to see what she had left in the basket. There it was....my golden ticket!! I tore it open and optimistically began to read...Aug 1st.
"Mom and Steve: Hey, how are you doing? It's the day after I spoke with you. I miss you very much and can't wait for Family Day....you can bring food and drinks, but not alcohol."
I had to laugh at this. I guess he thought we would want to "party" it up and serve cocktails...ha ha. Then he goes on to say:
"Today I wore my uniform for the first time, it felt GREAT." And the tears begin to flow. I don't know if Dillon has ever said it felt "great" to wear any clothes that he has bought. Not the newest fashion t-shirt or the one with the designer label. Not even his motorcycle gear or a new hat that he bought with his own money. Of course he really likes these things, but I've never heard him say that something he wore made him "feel great". I knew exactly what he meant. It wasn't the fit or the fabric. It was the things that he had accomplished to earn that uniform. HE felt great....I could hear the pride from his pencil lead. I am so happy for him!!
He goes on to talk about his platoon...49 strong...and how they have shared their thoughts and feelings with each other. He says he has shin splints and that the food sucks...especially the vegetables at dinner. Dillon is one of those kids that actually loves vegetables...but not mushy ones. I had to laugh at this. Only Dillon would mention the "vegetables" (Jasmine will be happy about that). He has already lost 20 pounds.!! He weighed 233 going into the program and is now 213. He's getting leaner every day.
He goes on to Aug 2nd:
"Today was my first day of school. We have 3 classes a day, 2 hours each. I feel pretty comfortable in all of them. My group is one of the smartest groups or the smartest. It's pretty easy so far. We also went on a hike while we carried a 200 lb, long pole 3 people at a time and traded off. We went to the top of the Eagle Ridge.....We all yelled 'TOP DOG PRIDE TILL WE DIE!!'. It felt AMAZING." Now here again...I have never heard Dillon say it felt "amazing". Not riding his dirt bike or zipping down the mountain on his snow board. I've heard him say, "fun" or "hecka fun" or "awesome"....but "It felt AMAZING"....those are words that come from deep down inside...those are words of accomplishment. He goes on to say, "I wish this program was over most of the time, but once in a while our Sergeant's give a speech that makes me proud and full of pride. It only lasts for about 20 min., but it helps. I can't wait to see you on Family Day. Love you, Dillon"
There it was in black and white. My boy is becoming a man. He is finding that he is stronger than he ever thought and that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to. He is finding his inner strength and his pride. I am so happy for him...so completely happy!!

On a sad note:
One of his platoon members lost their dad....he died unexpectedly. Dillon was "really upset" to hear that. The cadet had a 24 hour leave and returned to finish the program. There are some very strong and brave young men there with Dillon. I know he must draw strength from their stories.

D-O Phone Home---He Made It!!!

The past 2 weeks have been quite the roller coaster ride. The excitement of arriving at GYA, the fear of the unknown, 2 phone calls begging to come home, separation anxiety/home sickness, wanting to quit, and now the excitement of making it past "acclimation period" better known as "hell week(s)"!! And that's not just for Dillon...that's for me as well. I have been going through so many emotions....fear, guilt, sadness, anger...just to name a few. I think I have been more of a basket case than Dillon, but I knew I had to stay strong and not let him know of my insecurity.
After the first 2 unscheduled calls during the first week and a couple of letters home saying how much he hated it and wanted to come home, we hadn't heard anything...nothing. But, they said that no news was good news. Steve and I had planned a visit up to his sister's house near Rogue River in Oregon. I have to say that it was actually great to have something else on my mind. Everyday has been thinking of Dillon, wondering what he is doing and if he is ok? Then going to bed feeling sad and guilty about not being there to comfort and protect him. So anything to fill myself with busy work was great.
We got on the road around lunchtime on Friday, and made a stop or two along the way. In the past, when I had travelled to Oregon with Patrick and the boys we always stopped on I-5 just north of Weed at a rest stop and had gotten in the habit of taking pictures there over the years. So, I decided that even though Dillon couldn't be there with us on this trip, at least "Dillon's Head on a Stick" could be there to keep up with tradition. So we stopped and took a couple of pictures with a snow capped Mt. Shasta in the background.

We even enlisted the help of a 9 year old boy to take a picture of both Steve and myself because no one else was around. Which was actually a little weird. We eventually saw his dad, so felt better about leaving, but didn't his parents ever tell him not to talk to strangers? Even though we did need him to be our photographer, it seemed a little strange to solicit his help. Hopefully his Dad grabbed him by the ear and told him not to talk to weirdos like us....(grin).
We continued to head North on I-5 and the sky was absolutely beautiful. We opened the moon roof and I thought it would be a great time to get Dillon in the pic. The below shot is taken in the car travelling about 70mph with the top open and trying to not lose Dillon's head from the pull of the wind. He looks very majestic, wouldn't you agree?

We finally arrived at the Smullen's, (Betsy, Pat and Rachel) around 7p.m. and were greeted with smiles, hugs, and dinner. They have a gorgeous farm of 14 acres and are trying their hands at being hay farmers. We got caught up on all the happenings and laughed the night away. We finally hit the sack around 11:00 and then spent the next day seeing more of the area.
I had spoken with Patrick about when Dillon might be calling home and he had found a notice on the GYA bulletin board that said Platoon 3 was scheduled to call home between 9:00 and 10:30a.m. on Saturday morning. We stalled leaving until I had heard from Dillon. 9:30 rolled around, then 10:00, then 10:15 and nothing. Finally we had to make a decision to head out and hope that there was no interrupted cell coverage. I still wasn't sure if Dillon would be calling me or his father, so I trusted that I would get the call when I supposed to get the call and headed out to enjoy the day in Oregon.
There was a firefighter show going on at the airport. They had a display of several pieces of equipment that they use to put out forest fires. Below is a picture of Steve and I with the Smullens in front of an old Airline jet that was now used to transport fire fighters and equipment to the scene of a fire.

We met Pat's mother, Val and then headed into town for some lunch and a stop at Harry and David's. As soon as we walked in the door, we saw it....."Dillon's Gourmet". It was the obvious chance for our next photo opp.

Too bad Dillon hates nuts or else I would have gotten him every kind of nut roll they had. It carried his name after all. We had fun shopping and getting all kinds of goodies along with some wines to take home. I also found a cute card for Dillon and figured I would drop it in the mail on the way back to Pat and Betsy's house. I was writing Dillon a note when we pulled into the post office to drop it off....then the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but answered anyway...no one on the other end. The phone rang again, the same thing. Third time was the charm. All I heard was, "Mom...It's Dillon!!" I was so happy...and here I was sitting in a car with 4 other people and I could barely contain my emotions. It was so comforting to hear his voice, and I could tell by the tone that he was in a good mood. He said, "I made it Mom. I got my uniform!" I was so proud of him, and better yet, I could tell that he was proud of himself. He could only talk for 5 minutes, and it only seemed like 2 minutes had passed when he had to say goodbye. He told me that it sucked, but that he "loved" his platoon (except for 3 of the boys)and that he was going to stay. My heart jumped with joy. I was so happy that he came to this decision on his own. He asked me for a journal, Kiwi polish for his new uniform boots, and some pictures. He said the food sucked. I had read a couple of posts on the GYA bulletin board from mother's saying that their kids liked the food. I'm sure those kids were probably used to eating things like fish sticks, hot dogs, and sloppy joes. Dillon has been used to onion pie, feta stuffed tomatoes, pulled pork that had been marinated and slow cooked by Kyle, etc. We will have to bring him an extra special lunch on family day. He is so excited for everyone to come for Family Day on Sept. 11th. (I will be sending out more news about that very soon.) He asked that I be sure and thank everyone for the letters. He still doesn't have time to write everyone but is very thankful for all of your letters, notes and cards. I told him how proud everyone was of him and what a great opportunity he has been handed. Before I knew it, he was interrupting me to say goodbye. I told him I loved him, hung up the phone, and cried. I miss him so much and wish that I could hug him, but I am so happy that he is at GYA and that he is finally doing this for himself, not just for us.
When I got home last night, I looked on the GYA website for more photos. There were 198 new photos, but there was only 1 that I needed to see. He looks so strong and confident. That's my boy. I love you Dillon!!

Dillon's Head on a Stick

Several people have asked what they can send to Dillon at GYA. I say send your thoughts, your encouragement, your love, your wisdom, stories of your own struggles, and your sense of humor. Dillon can only receive letters and few pictures. I had been trying to think of a way I can make him feel at "home" since he has written saying that he is "home sick". So, I thought I would take him along with us when we go to fun places. I enlarged a picture of Dillon and mounted it to foam board then attached a stick to the back. I also made some signs so he would know that we are thinking of him at the very moment we are taking the pictures. This past Tuesday we went to San Francisco to celebrate Jessica's (Steve's daughter) birthday. I took the picture and signs and asked his kids to help me out with sending some fun and love to Dillon.'
In the picture below are all 3 of Steve's kids... Randy, Nick, Jessica, Sorme (Jessica's girlfriend), and Dillon (well, Dillon's head that is).
As you can see, it worked great. I have already sent these same pictures off to Dillon and he will hopefully get them tomorrow.
Make a goofy face for Dillon.....If this doesn't make him laugh I'm not sure what will!!

I even got a chance to join in the fun and send Dillon some love as well. I think this will be getting to him at a good time.

I received another letter from him today. It was short and direct.
"Mom, I don't have much time to write but I miss you and love you so much and am very home sick. I'm not doing this program for myself I'm doing it for my family, mainly you, Dad, and Kyle. Love You So Much. xoxo - Dillon"
I also heard that he send Dale, his mentor, a letter as well. His letters say that he is home sick and missing us but I still find hope in his words. Although he says he is doing the program for his family, I trust that this journey will show him different. He has already grown leaps and bounds in just 12 short days. I have never heard Dillon express himself with such emotion. I wish I could be there to hug him and comfort him, but I can't. I have to hold strong and know what a gift this is for us all.

Feel free to send pictures with your letters to Dillon. You can even have some fun like we did and add some flare to your photos. Have fun!!

1 Week Down and the Journey Continues

I was so happy when I went to the mailbox and there was a letter from Dillon. I was like a kid at Christmas knowing that there was something very special inside that envelope. Steve was doing dishes when I ran in and proclaimed, "WE GOT A LETTER FROM DILLON!!" I tore open the envelope and pulled out 2 full pages, double spaced, and both sides filled with his thoughts. I got as far as the first few words when I choked up.

"I really appreciate you guys writing me. Mom if you can let Grandma Judy and Bob know that I said I love them and miss them and thank you for the letters. If you can post on my wall on Facebook that I most likely will not be writing anyone but my parents cause we have a limited time of writing. I miss you all so much and love you all... Please let Ralph and Lynn know I love them and thank you for the letters. Sorry I could not write."

He goes on to tell about how they get "smoked" by having to do sit-ups and push-ups and hold their canteens above their heads for 30 minutes, and if anyone lets down or slacks they have to start all over again. He says it is a lot different then he thought it would be. Here is a picture I found on the GYA website. He is sitting down to the far right directly behind the boy with his head in his hand.

Then there is another here showing some of the physical challenges that he is doing. He looks so focused!! He says that his back hurts and he is tired....I know this is more exercise than he has ever done. I continue to think of the pride that must be growing inside of him. I only hope that he can get past the physical pain and the homesickness and dig deep enough to realize that he can do this. This is going to make him so strong both physically and mentally.

I continue to have my own struggles with missing him. I went for a run today and felt so weak. I wanted to quit, I wanted to slack, but I couldn't. If Dillon can continue to work hard everyday then so can I. My solace lies in knowing the strength, courage, and self confidence that he is gaining. I continue to write him often and send pictures as well. I just blew up a picture of his head, mounted it on some foam board and will be taking pictures as we go to different places. I'm sure he will get a kick out of this. So keep checking back to see our pictures with "Dillon's Head"...grin.

Thank you to all that have written. I will continue to send updates as I receive them.

Homesickness has set in!!

So I got a call from Dillon's counselor the other day. I was in with a client so wasn't able to take the call. When I called back, Dillon was no longer in her office but she shared with me that he is wanting to come home. I pretty much expected that this might happen. She told me that this does happen a lot within the first 2 weeks. These boys are being pushed to the limit both physically and emotionally. They are up at 5:00a.m. 7 days a week and are doing physical activity for most of the day.
So, needless to say, I'm sure that Dillon is exhausted. I'm sure his body aches as he is being pushed to his full limit. The counselor said that he is being respectful, but he is requesting to come home.
As a parent, it hurts to know that your child is upset, hurting, homesick, and is begging to come home. I also know that this is going to be the best thing for Dillon. The confidence he will gain from this program is priceless. So, I told the counselor,"NO" he can't come home. He has behaved himself into this situation, and he will have to behave himself out of it.
Both Kyle and myself wrote him letters that we e-mailed to his counselor hoping that our words would help change his mind. Mine pushing him to dig deep and stick it out, and Kyle letting him know how proud he is and giving him words of encouragement.
Chief Weiss (his conselor) delivered the news and the letters to Dillon, and then I got another call yesterday. I wasn't able to answer the phone, so he called his Dad. Patrick spoke with Dillon, and he still is wanting to come home. Patrick encouraged him to tough it out, and so far there hasn't been any calls today.
I am nervous for Dillon. I hope that he can dig deep and find his inner strength. Quitting is never something that one can be proud of. I know, I've been a quitter before and if I can help it, I won't let Dillon quit.
I have been speaking with a cadet from the past class and his mother. We have been e-mailing back and forth after I found their information posted on the GYA bulletin board.
They have been very so great in helping me to understand the process and to not second guess myself. The former cadet's name is Tim Stockton and he shared with me that he also wanted to quit in the beginning. He did make it to the end and graduated the program in June. He said that it was the best thing that ever happened to him, and if he had the chance, he would do it all over again.
Those words made me feel so good. He is going to write to Dillon and I'm hoping that his words will encourage Dillon somehow and keep him on the right path.
For now, all we can do is write and encourage Dillon. So thank you to all of you who have been sending letters. I'm sure that Dillon finds comfort in your words.
He doesn't get to call home until next weekend, but I will be sure to let you know how he is doing as soon as I hear from him.
I continue to have a great hope in Dillon and in his future.

News from GYA...and few pics too

I was told about a bulletin on the GYA website. I checked it out today and look what I found....out of 130 pictures of cadets, I found 3 of Dillon. In this one, he is in the bottom left corner. He has a peculiar look on his face, but it looks to me like he is laughing. This is a team building day where one cadet stands on a table and several cadets below catch him.

The next picture is of Dillon catching the head honcho of the GYA program. You can barely make him out, but if you look closely, he is the head to the left of the Sergeant's waist....I'm not sure if you are able to blow up the picture, but trust me, he's there. I know my boy!!

The next one is of him getting ready to catch another cadet. You can make out is shaved head as he looks up, very focused at the task at hand. His head is right above the sergeant in the middle. I am so proud of him. It makes me happy to see that he is joining in and becoming part of a team.

Also on the bulletin board, was a post by Sergeant Suzy. I was very happy to see this. It let's us parents know exactly what are kids have been doing. I thought I would share it with you.

"It is Monday morning and your sons and daughters were up very early......but they are doing well and have just had the Director's welcome brief where all of the different staff members are introduced. This will be a busy, challenging, and yes, fun week at Grizzly. The candidates will be taking part in lots of team building events to help them get to know each other. They will be climbing up and rappelling down a 50 foot tower (with harnesses and safety equipment) and they will be doing the obstacle course which is a favorite. We will be taking lots of pictures. Your sons and daughters have already been learning how to make their bunks, how to march, and the "chain of command" structure at Grizzly. Don't expect a lot of mail because they are busy until they fall asleep at night. This is just the beginning of their great adventure and we will be sharing the information with you, so relax if you can and know they are in good hands. SGT Suzy"

Patrick or I will hopefully hear from Dillon some time this weekend. As soon as I hear any news, I will be sure to update you all.

Thanks for following along and for all of your support!!

Mary

7/18/10 D-Day (Dillon's Day)

The morning began at 6:45a.m. I woke Dillon as he uttered "ugh...I don't want to go". He did however drag himself out of bed and into the shower. I had butterflies in my stomach and know that he did as well. We were out the door by 7:30 and off to Starbucks for a quick cup of joe and a snack to get us on the road.

The drive down was long and I could feel the tension growing the closer we got to SLO (San Luis Obispo). We talked quite a bit about what he was feeling and his concerns. Dillon was actually in a great mood. The first time I had seen the excitement and curiosity greater than the nerves and fear. He said that "6 months isn't that long, and I'm only 2 1/2 hours from home". I thought this was a great attitude to have.

Aunt Dene called on the way down and gave him some encouragement

and some laughs as well. She said that if anyone messed with him to tell

them that aunt Dene was going to kick their ass. I'm sure that made all

the difference in helping Dillon to feel secure......grin.

We got to SLO a little before 11:00 and were instructed to eat lunch before arriving at GYA (Grizzly Youth Academy). Dillon wanted to go into Pismo, but we didn't have time. We were lucky enough to find a small version of F. McClintocks in downtown SLO. This would be his "last meal" so to speak. A BLT with home fries and a coke. Probably not the best choice on a nervous stomach, but he was able to choke it down along with some of mine as well. Then we were back on the road and headed to his home for the next 5 months.

When we arrived, we met up with Patrick and Kyle who had rode down on their motorcycles. Dillon put on his black pants, black t-shirt, black hat, white socks, and tennis shoes as instructed. There were several other boys with the same outfit and the same worried look on their faces. We lined up along with the other cadets and families and waited in line.

A sergeant was making announcements. "Only your parents can go in with you. Once you cross this line, YOU BELONG TO US!!"...the first upset of the day. Kyle and Steve had made the trip with us in hopes of going in with us for processing. But, the rules are the rules. Dillon said goodbye to his brother and Steve and then we were next to be processed.

The sergeant asked Dillon a question and he replied"yeah". In response he heard, "That's YES SERGEANT!"....his first taste of how he would be treated over the next 22 weeks. We proceeded through the intake line where all of the things we had so carefully packed into his black bag were dumped out, rifled through and handed back to him all wadded up to be put into a new clear bag. They went through everything and checked in every nook and cranny looking for any unauthorized contraband. Dillon was embarrassed when they discovered Q-tips that I snuck into his shaving kit....I just wanted him to have clean ears...jeesh!! But it wasn't authorized so they took them away. Later, I saw other mothers walking around with boxes of Q-tips that had been handed back for them to take home. "If they need a Q-tip, they can ask for one and it will be issued to them." Gulp!!

Next were 4 different stations that we were sent to hand in our paperwork and make sure we had all the i's dotted and the t's crossed. Station 1 - Counseling Packet intake. Here we handed in the paperwork for psychological purposes. Some kids are in counseling and others are on probation. Dillon has neither a therapist or a probation officer so this was a fairly quick stop for us. One of the women did give Dillon some great advice. She asked if he was nervous and he said "YES"..not yeah like before. Took only once to learn that skill. She continued to tell him, "They are going to yell at you and try to break you down. Don't take it personal and just do what they ask, you will be fine". I really think this was helpful to Dillon. He seemed to relax a bit after this. He then got his picture taken and then a family picture with his dad and me.

Station 2 - Mentor Paperwork intake. Here we waited in a very long line and handed in our mentor paperwork. Dale (Dillon's mentor) had already e-mailed most of the information over and had everything in order. "Very efficient" she said. So that was a quick stop for us.

Station 3 - Transcript and School Transfer intake. Again, we had everything we needed. Copies of school records and transfer sheets. The lines were long because most people didn't come prepared. There were several parents that looked confused as if they were seeing this paperwork for the first time. We've had the packet for about a month, so they really made it easy for us to be prepared. Unfortunately, the lack of preparation and confusion led to long lines and more nerves on the part of the cadets.

Station 4 - Medical Paperwork intake. We saw the nurse right away. She was great. Dillon has an inhaler that he uses occasionally when needed for asthma. She instructed him to use it this morning (7/19) when he got up....she said she was giving him a clue as to what his day would be like. I will be curious to hear what today was like for him.

After we left Station 4, Patrick and I had to say our goodbyes. Dillon went to cadet orientation and we went to parent orientation. We were all waiting outside in different areas about 50 yards apart. I was watching as Dillon sat with the other cadets. At first, he looked a little scared, and then true to form, Dillon started chatting it up with the other boys and cracking a smile or two. That's my boy...Mr. Social.

Next, Patrick and I went into the parent orientation and that was the last time we saw Dillon. He now belongs to them for the next 5 months. My heart sank and my stomach was turning.

Just last week he and I drove up the coast on Hwy 1 and found a olallieberry farm where we picked berries, and had some great laughs. I know he is going to learn so much and grow in so many ways, but he's still my baby boy and I am going to miss him. He left a boy and will return a man.

It is suggested that we all write to him as much as possible to keep him connected. Mail call is every night around 8:30 after a long hard day and a shower, they get to read mail from home. Here is his address again for those who missed my e-mail:

Dillon Oliver

3rd Platoon

Grizzly Youth Academy

P.O. Box 3209

San Luis Obispo, CA 93403-3209
We were told, only positive news, no sad or negative news. These are the words that he will be reading as he gets ready to go to sleep. The staff sergeant said that the boys that get mail do much better than those who don't so please write when you can. I'm sure that he will get back to you eventually, but they don't have that much time to respond to mail. He gets a call home once a week and I will keep you all posted as to how he is doing.

The Friends and Family visit day is Sept. 11th from 10:00 - 4:00. I would love all of you to join us if you can. It's a picnic day for the cadets to visit with everyone and we can bring as many peeps as we want. Let me know if you are in and we will set up carpools. It is a 3 hour trip, so I know it's too much for some. But if you are up for it, we would love to have you.

Dillon is more lucky than most. He has a very supportive family that loves him very much and will see him through this journey.

Thank you all.