New Letters and A Taste of Home

It has been exactly 5 weeks today that Dillon started the program at Grizzly, although sometimes if seems like 5 years. I really miss having home. I miss seeing his face and hearing him around the house. There is definitely a void in my life without him here. With that said, I will admit there was a time that I was counting the days before he left. The disrespectful attitude, the entitlement, the complaining, the "I'm bored" statements, the snotty reaction if I said "no". I don't miss any of that. But just like a mother having a baby, you forget the pain of birth and want to do it all over again. I guess I have forgotten the challenging parts of Dillon and now I just really miss the great parts of Dillon....his laughter, his fun filled pranks, the smell of his hair, his infectious smile, his inquisitive nature, his hugs, and his boyish personality. I realized before he left for Grizzly that this was the last time I was going to see the "boy" in him and that he was going to come home a young man. I am so happy that he is growing and changing, but there is a part of me that is going to miss the boy. This is my baby, and now both of my babies have grown up. It's finally time to cut the cord and let go of mothering and just be his Mom.
I am really beginning to see the changes in Dillon through his letters. He speaks his emotions and speaks from his heart. Never before have I heard Dillon talk about how much he loves his family and how important it is to make us proud. He also writes about changes he is making and changes he wants to make. In a letter dated Aug. 11th he says:
I guess it takes 28 days to break or start a habit. So I'm hoping in 6 more days, I won't be homesick, and I'll be used to PT and bad food. It's hard to think I've been gone for 22 days now when it feels like 2 and it feels like 5 months all at the same time. All I can think about is Family Day and Home pass. I love you so much. -Dillon"
He has also shared with me that he is doing really well in school and that the classes seem easy to him. He has gotten all A's on his homework and is hoping to get a 4.0 throughout his time at Grizzly. "School is so easy so far. I hope to get a 4.0 during the whole time I'm here ."
Wow, wow and more wow!! I have never heard Dillon talk about his grades like this and his hopes of not only doing well but doing the BEST he can. This is so awesome!!
The next letter I got was dated Aug. 16th. The entire letter was written in cursive and he had very nice penmanship. This is a huge improvement. I can certainly tell you that his writing and grammar have improved dramatically. This letter, however, was not as positive. He is still homesick and thinks that this program is not for him. He is very frustrated with his platoon. He says that there are about 10 kids that keep screwing things up for the rest of them and it is really starting to cause his platoon to fall apart. I personally think this is a great lesson for him. He is finally realizing that when one person doesn't pull their own weight, it really brings the whole unit down. I'm hoping that he can find the strength to maybe help these other cadets. This is his family now and no man can be left behind. They are going to have to band together to keep them strong. I encourage all of you to write letters to Dillon and suggest ways to keep him strong during these trying times. I know we all have stories about someone dragging us down and how we were able to pull through and draw strength from the experience. Dillon is learning things at 16 that some of us in our 40's still haven't learned. He continues to teach me about patience, humility, strength, self-esteem, and so much more.
This past Friday the 20th, Dillon met with his mentor for the first time. Dale was his little taste of home. This is the first time in 5 weeks that Dillon has been in contact with anyone other than his instructors and fellow cadets. Dale was able to bring Dillon some Jelly Bellies (as requested). Later, Dale told me that he wasn't aware that they couldn't keep the treat but had to consume them all while they visited in 2 hours. Well, Dale had brought him several bags of Jelly Bellies and they were all gone after the 2 hour visit. I'm sure he probably had a stomach ache that night. He was able to share them with some of his other cadets during the time they were all with their mentors, but I'm sure that Dillon ate the bulk of them.
Here is a photo of Dillon and Dale this past Friday. I can't believe how thin he looks. Dale also said that he looked like he was getting in shape. That's great to hear since one of his goals is to "get yoked" (I think I spelled it correct? a.k.a -to get ripped muscles).
I still continue to hold on for 3 more weeks until family day....Actually 2 weeks and 6 days. I have rented a house and we will be going down on Friday with family and friends to prepare for the big event on Saturday. I can't wait to see him and hear more about his journey. I look forward to taking lots of pictures, getting lots of hugs, giving him all the love he can stand, and bringing back his stories to share.