Follow up Pics - Mentor Day

This past weekend was the first time the cadets got to meet with their Mentors. I was on the GYA website (like I am everyday hoping to hear or see news about Dillon) and found these pictures of Mentor Day with Dale. I am so happy to see my boy engaging in the activities and getting the most out of his experience. This activity is called The Mine Field.

Dale is standing to the left and Dillon is next to him watching the event unfold. Here, Dillon is leading Dale through the Mine Field. I love the way he is using his body (he's the one turned sideways) to
"show" Dale how to move even though Dale is blind folded. :-)
And in this one I can hear Dillon's booming voice shouting out directions. I love how animated he is in all of these pictures. (If you don't recognize him, he's the one bent over with his hand by his mouth.)

"Watch out for that Mine!!"
Now it's Dillon's turn to walk through the Mine Field and Dale's turn to give instructions. This looks like such a great activity for the cadets to experience with their mentors. They learn trust and the importance of listening. (Dale is to the right in sunglasses.)

Here he is again maneuvering through the "mine" fields. He looks ready for action!!

I hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I do.

More to come later.....

New Letters and A Taste of Home

It has been exactly 5 weeks today that Dillon started the program at Grizzly, although sometimes if seems like 5 years. I really miss having home. I miss seeing his face and hearing him around the house. There is definitely a void in my life without him here. With that said, I will admit there was a time that I was counting the days before he left. The disrespectful attitude, the entitlement, the complaining, the "I'm bored" statements, the snotty reaction if I said "no". I don't miss any of that. But just like a mother having a baby, you forget the pain of birth and want to do it all over again. I guess I have forgotten the challenging parts of Dillon and now I just really miss the great parts of Dillon....his laughter, his fun filled pranks, the smell of his hair, his infectious smile, his inquisitive nature, his hugs, and his boyish personality. I realized before he left for Grizzly that this was the last time I was going to see the "boy" in him and that he was going to come home a young man. I am so happy that he is growing and changing, but there is a part of me that is going to miss the boy. This is my baby, and now both of my babies have grown up. It's finally time to cut the cord and let go of mothering and just be his Mom.
I am really beginning to see the changes in Dillon through his letters. He speaks his emotions and speaks from his heart. Never before have I heard Dillon talk about how much he loves his family and how important it is to make us proud. He also writes about changes he is making and changes he wants to make. In a letter dated Aug. 11th he says:
I guess it takes 28 days to break or start a habit. So I'm hoping in 6 more days, I won't be homesick, and I'll be used to PT and bad food. It's hard to think I've been gone for 22 days now when it feels like 2 and it feels like 5 months all at the same time. All I can think about is Family Day and Home pass. I love you so much. -Dillon"
He has also shared with me that he is doing really well in school and that the classes seem easy to him. He has gotten all A's on his homework and is hoping to get a 4.0 throughout his time at Grizzly. "School is so easy so far. I hope to get a 4.0 during the whole time I'm here ."
Wow, wow and more wow!! I have never heard Dillon talk about his grades like this and his hopes of not only doing well but doing the BEST he can. This is so awesome!!
The next letter I got was dated Aug. 16th. The entire letter was written in cursive and he had very nice penmanship. This is a huge improvement. I can certainly tell you that his writing and grammar have improved dramatically. This letter, however, was not as positive. He is still homesick and thinks that this program is not for him. He is very frustrated with his platoon. He says that there are about 10 kids that keep screwing things up for the rest of them and it is really starting to cause his platoon to fall apart. I personally think this is a great lesson for him. He is finally realizing that when one person doesn't pull their own weight, it really brings the whole unit down. I'm hoping that he can find the strength to maybe help these other cadets. This is his family now and no man can be left behind. They are going to have to band together to keep them strong. I encourage all of you to write letters to Dillon and suggest ways to keep him strong during these trying times. I know we all have stories about someone dragging us down and how we were able to pull through and draw strength from the experience. Dillon is learning things at 16 that some of us in our 40's still haven't learned. He continues to teach me about patience, humility, strength, self-esteem, and so much more.
This past Friday the 20th, Dillon met with his mentor for the first time. Dale was his little taste of home. This is the first time in 5 weeks that Dillon has been in contact with anyone other than his instructors and fellow cadets. Dale was able to bring Dillon some Jelly Bellies (as requested). Later, Dale told me that he wasn't aware that they couldn't keep the treat but had to consume them all while they visited in 2 hours. Well, Dale had brought him several bags of Jelly Bellies and they were all gone after the 2 hour visit. I'm sure he probably had a stomach ache that night. He was able to share them with some of his other cadets during the time they were all with their mentors, but I'm sure that Dillon ate the bulk of them.
Here is a photo of Dillon and Dale this past Friday. I can't believe how thin he looks. Dale also said that he looked like he was getting in shape. That's great to hear since one of his goals is to "get yoked" (I think I spelled it correct? a.k.a -to get ripped muscles).
I still continue to hold on for 3 more weeks until family day....Actually 2 weeks and 6 days. I have rented a house and we will be going down on Friday with family and friends to prepare for the big event on Saturday. I can't wait to see him and hear more about his journey. I look forward to taking lots of pictures, getting lots of hugs, giving him all the love he can stand, and bringing back his stories to share.

Beach Day and the Golden Shovel

There was a new post on the GYA bulletin board last Thursday that the cadets would be going to the beach on Friday for a "getting to know you" event and a sand castle building competition where they would have a chance at winning the coveted "Golden Shovel". They announced that pictures would be posted so I have been logging on everyday since Friday to see if there were new pictures, and if I could catch a glimpse of Dillon in any of the photos. Finally, on Monday there were new photos posted. I carefully scanned over each picture straining my eyes to see if I could find him. It's funny, but as a mom (and a dad a suppose) you just know your kid. Now all of these kids look the same. Shaved heads, same gray sweats, black shirts, black hats, etc. But as a parent I have a keen skill of spotting him. I guess after 16 years of watching him grow, I just know the shape of his head, the curve of his back, the way he holds himself, the bend of his elbow.
I spotted him in several pictures!! Here is his Platoon heading out to the beach...Platoon 3-- The Top Dogs.

Dillon is there...trust me I see him. He's 6th from the left back corner of the picture. The crane and stop sign are behind him and there is a shorter boy behind his right shoulder.

Here they are enjoying lunch before the big competition begins. Dillon is directly behind the boy 2nd from the right with his brown lunch bag on top of his backpack. You can barely see Dillon directly over his head. Looks like he is drinking some juice getting nourished for the big day.

Let the fun begin!! Here is there group and I saw Dillon (above pic) immediately. His back is to the camera...he's the tallest in the center. I would know that posture anywhere.

Platoon 3 created several different sand formations. A dog for "Top Dogs", a dog bone, bowl and a set of words for the "Top Dogs". They also erected this sandy cross. I posted in the last blog that one of the cadet's father passed away unexpectedly. I can only assume that this is for him. Dillon is to the right behind the boy bending over. (above)
And there's the picture I was waiting for. I needed to see that smile!! That's my boy meticulously arranging feathers to form wings on the cross.
Here is a picture of their Top Dog Bowl. Dillon is in the background working on the cross. He is bending over in the top right corner. Again, I would know that back anywhere...

They are all so proud of their platoon. "Top Dogs 3rd Platoon" and a "25" in the top corner because they are the 25th class to go through GYA.

Here they are posing in front of their creations. Dillon is sitting in the front row, 4th from the left looking down. I'm happy to see all these young men beaming from their accomplishments and proud to be a unit. (above)

One more photo of the group. Dillon wrote again and this is one of the sayings that the bark out as they march -- "One Voice - One Sound - One Fails, We all Fail - 49 Top Dogs in the Dog Pound!"

Here are all of the platoons lined up waiting to hear the verdict. Waiting to see who has won the "Golden Shovel". Dillon is leaning over on the right side with a huge smile on his face. (above) And....the drum roll please........

TOP DOGS-3RD PLATOON WIN THE GOLDEN SHOVEL!!!

The girl with the green pants is presenting them with the shovel.

Dillon is the one bending over with his hands on his kness. (above)

Let the celebration begin!! Woo Hoo....I'm so proud of my boy!! I know it must feel so good to win. Dillon has been struggling with where he fits in and now he has a group of peers that make him feel accepted and he is so happy to be a part of this platoon.

He also wrote in his last letter... "We get compliments from the other squads. The Wolverines, Rough Riders, the girls platoon is The Cobras. But 3rd Platoon is literally the best and we have the highest standards. We beat the other platoons on our PT (physical training)tests. We also look better than them when we march. PRIDE (all in caps) is a huge thing here. Most of the time I get sad, I get pumped up by sounding off and getting compliments from our cadre (sergeants)."

Now that is so wonderful to hear. I'm so happy he is getting the chance to know what "pride" is and how good it feels to be the best and accomplish your goals. I'm so proud of him!! This is for Matt....I can only assume this is for Cadet Barrington's dad.

It says, "May He Fly With Angels".

They went in as lost boys. Now, they have found strength in themselves and in each other. They are now becoming incredible, strong men.

The Letter I Have Been Waiting For....

The letters take about 3-4 days to get from Dillon to home. The last one I got was written before we spoke on Saturday, but I just received it this past Monday. He was still home sick and saying that GYA "sucks". I was really hoping that his feelings would change after he made it through the "acclimation phase" a.k.a. "hell week". Well, sure enough...they did. (well at least SOME of his feelings).
I have spent most of today running errands and really hadn't expected another letter from Dillon, but when I got home and heard the mail lady drop the mail through the slot in the garage, I ran to see what she had left in the basket. There it was....my golden ticket!! I tore it open and optimistically began to read...Aug 1st.
"Mom and Steve: Hey, how are you doing? It's the day after I spoke with you. I miss you very much and can't wait for Family Day....you can bring food and drinks, but not alcohol."
I had to laugh at this. I guess he thought we would want to "party" it up and serve cocktails...ha ha. Then he goes on to say:
"Today I wore my uniform for the first time, it felt GREAT." And the tears begin to flow. I don't know if Dillon has ever said it felt "great" to wear any clothes that he has bought. Not the newest fashion t-shirt or the one with the designer label. Not even his motorcycle gear or a new hat that he bought with his own money. Of course he really likes these things, but I've never heard him say that something he wore made him "feel great". I knew exactly what he meant. It wasn't the fit or the fabric. It was the things that he had accomplished to earn that uniform. HE felt great....I could hear the pride from his pencil lead. I am so happy for him!!
He goes on to talk about his platoon...49 strong...and how they have shared their thoughts and feelings with each other. He says he has shin splints and that the food sucks...especially the vegetables at dinner. Dillon is one of those kids that actually loves vegetables...but not mushy ones. I had to laugh at this. Only Dillon would mention the "vegetables" (Jasmine will be happy about that). He has already lost 20 pounds.!! He weighed 233 going into the program and is now 213. He's getting leaner every day.
He goes on to Aug 2nd:
"Today was my first day of school. We have 3 classes a day, 2 hours each. I feel pretty comfortable in all of them. My group is one of the smartest groups or the smartest. It's pretty easy so far. We also went on a hike while we carried a 200 lb, long pole 3 people at a time and traded off. We went to the top of the Eagle Ridge.....We all yelled 'TOP DOG PRIDE TILL WE DIE!!'. It felt AMAZING." Now here again...I have never heard Dillon say it felt "amazing". Not riding his dirt bike or zipping down the mountain on his snow board. I've heard him say, "fun" or "hecka fun" or "awesome"....but "It felt AMAZING"....those are words that come from deep down inside...those are words of accomplishment. He goes on to say, "I wish this program was over most of the time, but once in a while our Sergeant's give a speech that makes me proud and full of pride. It only lasts for about 20 min., but it helps. I can't wait to see you on Family Day. Love you, Dillon"
There it was in black and white. My boy is becoming a man. He is finding that he is stronger than he ever thought and that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to. He is finding his inner strength and his pride. I am so happy for him...so completely happy!!

On a sad note:
One of his platoon members lost their dad....he died unexpectedly. Dillon was "really upset" to hear that. The cadet had a 24 hour leave and returned to finish the program. There are some very strong and brave young men there with Dillon. I know he must draw strength from their stories.

D-O Phone Home---He Made It!!!

The past 2 weeks have been quite the roller coaster ride. The excitement of arriving at GYA, the fear of the unknown, 2 phone calls begging to come home, separation anxiety/home sickness, wanting to quit, and now the excitement of making it past "acclimation period" better known as "hell week(s)"!! And that's not just for Dillon...that's for me as well. I have been going through so many emotions....fear, guilt, sadness, anger...just to name a few. I think I have been more of a basket case than Dillon, but I knew I had to stay strong and not let him know of my insecurity.
After the first 2 unscheduled calls during the first week and a couple of letters home saying how much he hated it and wanted to come home, we hadn't heard anything...nothing. But, they said that no news was good news. Steve and I had planned a visit up to his sister's house near Rogue River in Oregon. I have to say that it was actually great to have something else on my mind. Everyday has been thinking of Dillon, wondering what he is doing and if he is ok? Then going to bed feeling sad and guilty about not being there to comfort and protect him. So anything to fill myself with busy work was great.
We got on the road around lunchtime on Friday, and made a stop or two along the way. In the past, when I had travelled to Oregon with Patrick and the boys we always stopped on I-5 just north of Weed at a rest stop and had gotten in the habit of taking pictures there over the years. So, I decided that even though Dillon couldn't be there with us on this trip, at least "Dillon's Head on a Stick" could be there to keep up with tradition. So we stopped and took a couple of pictures with a snow capped Mt. Shasta in the background.

We even enlisted the help of a 9 year old boy to take a picture of both Steve and myself because no one else was around. Which was actually a little weird. We eventually saw his dad, so felt better about leaving, but didn't his parents ever tell him not to talk to strangers? Even though we did need him to be our photographer, it seemed a little strange to solicit his help. Hopefully his Dad grabbed him by the ear and told him not to talk to weirdos like us....(grin).
We continued to head North on I-5 and the sky was absolutely beautiful. We opened the moon roof and I thought it would be a great time to get Dillon in the pic. The below shot is taken in the car travelling about 70mph with the top open and trying to not lose Dillon's head from the pull of the wind. He looks very majestic, wouldn't you agree?

We finally arrived at the Smullen's, (Betsy, Pat and Rachel) around 7p.m. and were greeted with smiles, hugs, and dinner. They have a gorgeous farm of 14 acres and are trying their hands at being hay farmers. We got caught up on all the happenings and laughed the night away. We finally hit the sack around 11:00 and then spent the next day seeing more of the area.
I had spoken with Patrick about when Dillon might be calling home and he had found a notice on the GYA bulletin board that said Platoon 3 was scheduled to call home between 9:00 and 10:30a.m. on Saturday morning. We stalled leaving until I had heard from Dillon. 9:30 rolled around, then 10:00, then 10:15 and nothing. Finally we had to make a decision to head out and hope that there was no interrupted cell coverage. I still wasn't sure if Dillon would be calling me or his father, so I trusted that I would get the call when I supposed to get the call and headed out to enjoy the day in Oregon.
There was a firefighter show going on at the airport. They had a display of several pieces of equipment that they use to put out forest fires. Below is a picture of Steve and I with the Smullens in front of an old Airline jet that was now used to transport fire fighters and equipment to the scene of a fire.

We met Pat's mother, Val and then headed into town for some lunch and a stop at Harry and David's. As soon as we walked in the door, we saw it....."Dillon's Gourmet". It was the obvious chance for our next photo opp.

Too bad Dillon hates nuts or else I would have gotten him every kind of nut roll they had. It carried his name after all. We had fun shopping and getting all kinds of goodies along with some wines to take home. I also found a cute card for Dillon and figured I would drop it in the mail on the way back to Pat and Betsy's house. I was writing Dillon a note when we pulled into the post office to drop it off....then the phone rang. I didn't recognize the number, but answered anyway...no one on the other end. The phone rang again, the same thing. Third time was the charm. All I heard was, "Mom...It's Dillon!!" I was so happy...and here I was sitting in a car with 4 other people and I could barely contain my emotions. It was so comforting to hear his voice, and I could tell by the tone that he was in a good mood. He said, "I made it Mom. I got my uniform!" I was so proud of him, and better yet, I could tell that he was proud of himself. He could only talk for 5 minutes, and it only seemed like 2 minutes had passed when he had to say goodbye. He told me that it sucked, but that he "loved" his platoon (except for 3 of the boys)and that he was going to stay. My heart jumped with joy. I was so happy that he came to this decision on his own. He asked me for a journal, Kiwi polish for his new uniform boots, and some pictures. He said the food sucked. I had read a couple of posts on the GYA bulletin board from mother's saying that their kids liked the food. I'm sure those kids were probably used to eating things like fish sticks, hot dogs, and sloppy joes. Dillon has been used to onion pie, feta stuffed tomatoes, pulled pork that had been marinated and slow cooked by Kyle, etc. We will have to bring him an extra special lunch on family day. He is so excited for everyone to come for Family Day on Sept. 11th. (I will be sending out more news about that very soon.) He asked that I be sure and thank everyone for the letters. He still doesn't have time to write everyone but is very thankful for all of your letters, notes and cards. I told him how proud everyone was of him and what a great opportunity he has been handed. Before I knew it, he was interrupting me to say goodbye. I told him I loved him, hung up the phone, and cried. I miss him so much and wish that I could hug him, but I am so happy that he is at GYA and that he is finally doing this for himself, not just for us.
When I got home last night, I looked on the GYA website for more photos. There were 198 new photos, but there was only 1 that I needed to see. He looks so strong and confident. That's my boy. I love you Dillon!!