Dillon's Head on a Stick

Several people have asked what they can send to Dillon at GYA. I say send your thoughts, your encouragement, your love, your wisdom, stories of your own struggles, and your sense of humor. Dillon can only receive letters and few pictures. I had been trying to think of a way I can make him feel at "home" since he has written saying that he is "home sick". So, I thought I would take him along with us when we go to fun places. I enlarged a picture of Dillon and mounted it to foam board then attached a stick to the back. I also made some signs so he would know that we are thinking of him at the very moment we are taking the pictures. This past Tuesday we went to San Francisco to celebrate Jessica's (Steve's daughter) birthday. I took the picture and signs and asked his kids to help me out with sending some fun and love to Dillon.'
In the picture below are all 3 of Steve's kids... Randy, Nick, Jessica, Sorme (Jessica's girlfriend), and Dillon (well, Dillon's head that is).
As you can see, it worked great. I have already sent these same pictures off to Dillon and he will hopefully get them tomorrow.
Make a goofy face for Dillon.....If this doesn't make him laugh I'm not sure what will!!

I even got a chance to join in the fun and send Dillon some love as well. I think this will be getting to him at a good time.

I received another letter from him today. It was short and direct.
"Mom, I don't have much time to write but I miss you and love you so much and am very home sick. I'm not doing this program for myself I'm doing it for my family, mainly you, Dad, and Kyle. Love You So Much. xoxo - Dillon"
I also heard that he send Dale, his mentor, a letter as well. His letters say that he is home sick and missing us but I still find hope in his words. Although he says he is doing the program for his family, I trust that this journey will show him different. He has already grown leaps and bounds in just 12 short days. I have never heard Dillon express himself with such emotion. I wish I could be there to hug him and comfort him, but I can't. I have to hold strong and know what a gift this is for us all.

Feel free to send pictures with your letters to Dillon. You can even have some fun like we did and add some flare to your photos. Have fun!!

1 Week Down and the Journey Continues

I was so happy when I went to the mailbox and there was a letter from Dillon. I was like a kid at Christmas knowing that there was something very special inside that envelope. Steve was doing dishes when I ran in and proclaimed, "WE GOT A LETTER FROM DILLON!!" I tore open the envelope and pulled out 2 full pages, double spaced, and both sides filled with his thoughts. I got as far as the first few words when I choked up.

"I really appreciate you guys writing me. Mom if you can let Grandma Judy and Bob know that I said I love them and miss them and thank you for the letters. If you can post on my wall on Facebook that I most likely will not be writing anyone but my parents cause we have a limited time of writing. I miss you all so much and love you all... Please let Ralph and Lynn know I love them and thank you for the letters. Sorry I could not write."

He goes on to tell about how they get "smoked" by having to do sit-ups and push-ups and hold their canteens above their heads for 30 minutes, and if anyone lets down or slacks they have to start all over again. He says it is a lot different then he thought it would be. Here is a picture I found on the GYA website. He is sitting down to the far right directly behind the boy with his head in his hand.

Then there is another here showing some of the physical challenges that he is doing. He looks so focused!! He says that his back hurts and he is tired....I know this is more exercise than he has ever done. I continue to think of the pride that must be growing inside of him. I only hope that he can get past the physical pain and the homesickness and dig deep enough to realize that he can do this. This is going to make him so strong both physically and mentally.

I continue to have my own struggles with missing him. I went for a run today and felt so weak. I wanted to quit, I wanted to slack, but I couldn't. If Dillon can continue to work hard everyday then so can I. My solace lies in knowing the strength, courage, and self confidence that he is gaining. I continue to write him often and send pictures as well. I just blew up a picture of his head, mounted it on some foam board and will be taking pictures as we go to different places. I'm sure he will get a kick out of this. So keep checking back to see our pictures with "Dillon's Head"...grin.

Thank you to all that have written. I will continue to send updates as I receive them.

Homesickness has set in!!

So I got a call from Dillon's counselor the other day. I was in with a client so wasn't able to take the call. When I called back, Dillon was no longer in her office but she shared with me that he is wanting to come home. I pretty much expected that this might happen. She told me that this does happen a lot within the first 2 weeks. These boys are being pushed to the limit both physically and emotionally. They are up at 5:00a.m. 7 days a week and are doing physical activity for most of the day.
So, needless to say, I'm sure that Dillon is exhausted. I'm sure his body aches as he is being pushed to his full limit. The counselor said that he is being respectful, but he is requesting to come home.
As a parent, it hurts to know that your child is upset, hurting, homesick, and is begging to come home. I also know that this is going to be the best thing for Dillon. The confidence he will gain from this program is priceless. So, I told the counselor,"NO" he can't come home. He has behaved himself into this situation, and he will have to behave himself out of it.
Both Kyle and myself wrote him letters that we e-mailed to his counselor hoping that our words would help change his mind. Mine pushing him to dig deep and stick it out, and Kyle letting him know how proud he is and giving him words of encouragement.
Chief Weiss (his conselor) delivered the news and the letters to Dillon, and then I got another call yesterday. I wasn't able to answer the phone, so he called his Dad. Patrick spoke with Dillon, and he still is wanting to come home. Patrick encouraged him to tough it out, and so far there hasn't been any calls today.
I am nervous for Dillon. I hope that he can dig deep and find his inner strength. Quitting is never something that one can be proud of. I know, I've been a quitter before and if I can help it, I won't let Dillon quit.
I have been speaking with a cadet from the past class and his mother. We have been e-mailing back and forth after I found their information posted on the GYA bulletin board.
They have been very so great in helping me to understand the process and to not second guess myself. The former cadet's name is Tim Stockton and he shared with me that he also wanted to quit in the beginning. He did make it to the end and graduated the program in June. He said that it was the best thing that ever happened to him, and if he had the chance, he would do it all over again.
Those words made me feel so good. He is going to write to Dillon and I'm hoping that his words will encourage Dillon somehow and keep him on the right path.
For now, all we can do is write and encourage Dillon. So thank you to all of you who have been sending letters. I'm sure that Dillon finds comfort in your words.
He doesn't get to call home until next weekend, but I will be sure to let you know how he is doing as soon as I hear from him.
I continue to have a great hope in Dillon and in his future.

News from GYA...and few pics too

I was told about a bulletin on the GYA website. I checked it out today and look what I found....out of 130 pictures of cadets, I found 3 of Dillon. In this one, he is in the bottom left corner. He has a peculiar look on his face, but it looks to me like he is laughing. This is a team building day where one cadet stands on a table and several cadets below catch him.

The next picture is of Dillon catching the head honcho of the GYA program. You can barely make him out, but if you look closely, he is the head to the left of the Sergeant's waist....I'm not sure if you are able to blow up the picture, but trust me, he's there. I know my boy!!

The next one is of him getting ready to catch another cadet. You can make out is shaved head as he looks up, very focused at the task at hand. His head is right above the sergeant in the middle. I am so proud of him. It makes me happy to see that he is joining in and becoming part of a team.

Also on the bulletin board, was a post by Sergeant Suzy. I was very happy to see this. It let's us parents know exactly what are kids have been doing. I thought I would share it with you.

"It is Monday morning and your sons and daughters were up very early......but they are doing well and have just had the Director's welcome brief where all of the different staff members are introduced. This will be a busy, challenging, and yes, fun week at Grizzly. The candidates will be taking part in lots of team building events to help them get to know each other. They will be climbing up and rappelling down a 50 foot tower (with harnesses and safety equipment) and they will be doing the obstacle course which is a favorite. We will be taking lots of pictures. Your sons and daughters have already been learning how to make their bunks, how to march, and the "chain of command" structure at Grizzly. Don't expect a lot of mail because they are busy until they fall asleep at night. This is just the beginning of their great adventure and we will be sharing the information with you, so relax if you can and know they are in good hands. SGT Suzy"

Patrick or I will hopefully hear from Dillon some time this weekend. As soon as I hear any news, I will be sure to update you all.

Thanks for following along and for all of your support!!

Mary

7/18/10 D-Day (Dillon's Day)

The morning began at 6:45a.m. I woke Dillon as he uttered "ugh...I don't want to go". He did however drag himself out of bed and into the shower. I had butterflies in my stomach and know that he did as well. We were out the door by 7:30 and off to Starbucks for a quick cup of joe and a snack to get us on the road.

The drive down was long and I could feel the tension growing the closer we got to SLO (San Luis Obispo). We talked quite a bit about what he was feeling and his concerns. Dillon was actually in a great mood. The first time I had seen the excitement and curiosity greater than the nerves and fear. He said that "6 months isn't that long, and I'm only 2 1/2 hours from home". I thought this was a great attitude to have.

Aunt Dene called on the way down and gave him some encouragement

and some laughs as well. She said that if anyone messed with him to tell

them that aunt Dene was going to kick their ass. I'm sure that made all

the difference in helping Dillon to feel secure......grin.

We got to SLO a little before 11:00 and were instructed to eat lunch before arriving at GYA (Grizzly Youth Academy). Dillon wanted to go into Pismo, but we didn't have time. We were lucky enough to find a small version of F. McClintocks in downtown SLO. This would be his "last meal" so to speak. A BLT with home fries and a coke. Probably not the best choice on a nervous stomach, but he was able to choke it down along with some of mine as well. Then we were back on the road and headed to his home for the next 5 months.

When we arrived, we met up with Patrick and Kyle who had rode down on their motorcycles. Dillon put on his black pants, black t-shirt, black hat, white socks, and tennis shoes as instructed. There were several other boys with the same outfit and the same worried look on their faces. We lined up along with the other cadets and families and waited in line.

A sergeant was making announcements. "Only your parents can go in with you. Once you cross this line, YOU BELONG TO US!!"...the first upset of the day. Kyle and Steve had made the trip with us in hopes of going in with us for processing. But, the rules are the rules. Dillon said goodbye to his brother and Steve and then we were next to be processed.

The sergeant asked Dillon a question and he replied"yeah". In response he heard, "That's YES SERGEANT!"....his first taste of how he would be treated over the next 22 weeks. We proceeded through the intake line where all of the things we had so carefully packed into his black bag were dumped out, rifled through and handed back to him all wadded up to be put into a new clear bag. They went through everything and checked in every nook and cranny looking for any unauthorized contraband. Dillon was embarrassed when they discovered Q-tips that I snuck into his shaving kit....I just wanted him to have clean ears...jeesh!! But it wasn't authorized so they took them away. Later, I saw other mothers walking around with boxes of Q-tips that had been handed back for them to take home. "If they need a Q-tip, they can ask for one and it will be issued to them." Gulp!!

Next were 4 different stations that we were sent to hand in our paperwork and make sure we had all the i's dotted and the t's crossed. Station 1 - Counseling Packet intake. Here we handed in the paperwork for psychological purposes. Some kids are in counseling and others are on probation. Dillon has neither a therapist or a probation officer so this was a fairly quick stop for us. One of the women did give Dillon some great advice. She asked if he was nervous and he said "YES"..not yeah like before. Took only once to learn that skill. She continued to tell him, "They are going to yell at you and try to break you down. Don't take it personal and just do what they ask, you will be fine". I really think this was helpful to Dillon. He seemed to relax a bit after this. He then got his picture taken and then a family picture with his dad and me.

Station 2 - Mentor Paperwork intake. Here we waited in a very long line and handed in our mentor paperwork. Dale (Dillon's mentor) had already e-mailed most of the information over and had everything in order. "Very efficient" she said. So that was a quick stop for us.

Station 3 - Transcript and School Transfer intake. Again, we had everything we needed. Copies of school records and transfer sheets. The lines were long because most people didn't come prepared. There were several parents that looked confused as if they were seeing this paperwork for the first time. We've had the packet for about a month, so they really made it easy for us to be prepared. Unfortunately, the lack of preparation and confusion led to long lines and more nerves on the part of the cadets.

Station 4 - Medical Paperwork intake. We saw the nurse right away. She was great. Dillon has an inhaler that he uses occasionally when needed for asthma. She instructed him to use it this morning (7/19) when he got up....she said she was giving him a clue as to what his day would be like. I will be curious to hear what today was like for him.

After we left Station 4, Patrick and I had to say our goodbyes. Dillon went to cadet orientation and we went to parent orientation. We were all waiting outside in different areas about 50 yards apart. I was watching as Dillon sat with the other cadets. At first, he looked a little scared, and then true to form, Dillon started chatting it up with the other boys and cracking a smile or two. That's my boy...Mr. Social.

Next, Patrick and I went into the parent orientation and that was the last time we saw Dillon. He now belongs to them for the next 5 months. My heart sank and my stomach was turning.

Just last week he and I drove up the coast on Hwy 1 and found a olallieberry farm where we picked berries, and had some great laughs. I know he is going to learn so much and grow in so many ways, but he's still my baby boy and I am going to miss him. He left a boy and will return a man.

It is suggested that we all write to him as much as possible to keep him connected. Mail call is every night around 8:30 after a long hard day and a shower, they get to read mail from home. Here is his address again for those who missed my e-mail:

Dillon Oliver

3rd Platoon

Grizzly Youth Academy

P.O. Box 3209

San Luis Obispo, CA 93403-3209
We were told, only positive news, no sad or negative news. These are the words that he will be reading as he gets ready to go to sleep. The staff sergeant said that the boys that get mail do much better than those who don't so please write when you can. I'm sure that he will get back to you eventually, but they don't have that much time to respond to mail. He gets a call home once a week and I will keep you all posted as to how he is doing.

The Friends and Family visit day is Sept. 11th from 10:00 - 4:00. I would love all of you to join us if you can. It's a picnic day for the cadets to visit with everyone and we can bring as many peeps as we want. Let me know if you are in and we will set up carpools. It is a 3 hour trip, so I know it's too much for some. But if you are up for it, we would love to have you.

Dillon is more lucky than most. He has a very supportive family that loves him very much and will see him through this journey.

Thank you all.

3 days left and the adventure begins

Well, it's Thursday night and all that I can think about is Dillon leaving. I wanted to create a blog where people can go and find out what Dillon has been up to while away at Grizzly Youth Academy. I have never done a blog, so please be patient.
I plan on updating when Dillon writes or calls and I will keep you posted about upcoming dates, events, etc.
I am excited and nervous....I'm really going to miss my baby boy. I also know that he is going to learn so much and have many stories to tell. And for that, I am very happy.
We will be leaving early Sunday morning (July 18) and head down to San Luis Obispo. He is to report at 12:00 noon with all of his items in a large black garbage bag. No luggage. No cell phone. No computer. No I-Pod. Just himself and a short list of necessities.
I will try to hold back the tears as I hug him goodbye, but I have a feeling that I won't be successful.
More to come on Monday......